Men in Black: International
Further proof of the lack of imagination at work is that Men in Black: International features not one, but two fights in which the special weapon skitters across the floor and the brawlers scramble for it.
Tag: 2019
Long Shot
Seth Rogen, the saw, must decide what to do next. He’s sentient, so he knows he can’t cut logs like Superbad 2 or Pineapple Express 2, or Zack and Miri Make a Porno 2. Not yet. Not until he loses his last shred of dignity.
The Lighthouse
It’s not one I’d want to see again because it’s so fucking grim and, ultimately, there’s not enough there to think about later, or enough there to be worth enduring twice. The college kids were nuts for it, though. After all, it’s in black and white so it must be pretty fucking important.
The Lego Movie 2
The best thing about the Lego Movie 2 is that kids aren’t patronized. The theme, even if it treads into the waters of the Toy Story franchise about growing up, is a real issue, particularly for boys who struggle to understand why they don’t like the same things they used to.
Knives Out
I don’t like mysteries unless they feature middle-aged women who also knit and have cats. And the title is a pun.
Good Boys
Good Boys has all the qualities of my perfect woman; it’s lazy, fake, cheap and settles for mediocrity. But what makes for a great date with me does not make for a good time at the movies.
Godzilla – King of the Monsters
Godzilla: King of the Monsters is like that Golden Corral buffet: a promise of a limitless cornucopia but all the best stuff is buried way, way in the back, and they expect you to fill up on garbage before you even get to it.
Pokémon Detective Pikachu
Detective Pikachu is a mystery, but not really. I mean, not in the sense that anyone put the fucking effort to come up with an engaging or clever puzzle.
Cats
I read a critic who said Cats was so weird it was impossible to review. That’s not true. It’s easy to review. It’s fucking awful. Even its weirdness is awful.
Booksmart
Teens with little to no experience with alcohol, drugs and sex decide to throw caution to the wind to comedic effect. This is the plot of about 50% of the movies from the 80s and about 20% of those from the 90s.