Spider-Man: Nobody’s Home is like a high school reunion. There’s a lot of old faces, some you recognize, some you don’t, and a few you feel like you probably once did but forgot a while ago. It’s an excuse for a valedictory lap for the winners.
The Voyeurs tells the story of a young, dumb and full of even more dumb couple (Pippa – Sydney Sweeney and Thomas – Justice Smith) who move into a new apartment and start watching the sexy neighbors (Sebastian – Ben Hardy and Julia – Natasha Liu Bordizzo) humping in the luxury flat with huge windows across the road.
What Cena does is commerce. He isn’t funny. I’m sure he has a shitload of managers and PR people working very hard to convince us otherwise. But his attempts are soulless and fake, approximations of what he has observed, shaped carefully by some grander scheme.
I feel Gawain. I know how intoxicating and irresistible the opportunity to impress a roomful of strangers can be. That’s why there’s an entire Elk’s Lodge in Washoe County that’s seen my penis. They weren’t impressed. They were also surprisingly eager to show me theirs.
Nostalgia is for suckers. The past ain’t as good as you remember, and shit wasn’t simpler back then.
Living is disappointment, a daily grab for the brass ring that’s just out of grasp. Every day, you wake up thinking, “Today’s the day!” and go to bed covered in the muck and shit you landed in when you came up short.
Linklater: “You know, the original was pretty good, but what if–and I’m thinking outside the box here–what if we dropped the The?”… Studio Chief: “Barbara! Bring me my giant checkbook, and hurry!”
More than anything, I dug the imagination, particularly the characters and the settings. It should be noted by many Hollywood assholes that every animal in this film has more charisma and charm than any Bruce Willis character they’ve ever thrown up there.
Once again, the pricks in Hollywood decided they could sloppily slap together a disjointed, incomprehensible and annoying reel of fecal matter because we are too stupid to expect more. Well, I for one say to Hollywood: FUCK YOU, ASSHOLES.
Avatar’s plot is virtually identical to Ferngully, a shit-for-brains, message-heavy kids’ cartoon about pixies who must stop loggers from destroying their rainforest. One human pretends to be a pixie and falls in love with the pixies and discovers how precious their world is.
