I love movies about average people, but what I love is for the characters to be “average” and not genuinely as dull and lame as the real average. I want them to subtly exceed the boundaries of the mundane and serve as inspiration, amusement or a lesson to the rest of us living in dingy apartments near railroad tracks.
The story starts slower than a 400 meter race at the Special Olympics. You sort of want to shake the participants and yell “Go that way and speed it up!”
The mutant monsters are back, bitches. All of them. Godzilla, Kong, and me. They’re back and misunderstood. I’m back and understood all too well.
200 Cigarettes is wrong for so many reasons that I will just put as many as I can on paper before I get mad and have to go punch one of the neighbor kids.
o compound the shitty obviousness of the plot is the incredibly lame characters are. Besides Sturgess being as bland and doughy as the bread at Subway, the rest of the blackjack team is nondescript.
This is a bad, expensive movie. Get off your high-fucking horse, Hollywood. If you want to make a message, have some fucking clue what it is, and some conviction that is stronger than your slutty desire for cash.
Velvet Buzzsaw is the sort of movie first-year art students might really, really love, because they believe Gilroy. They might quote bad lines from it as though they were now in on the secrets too. When they grow up, though, they’ll realize how stupid they sounded, and how little knowledge they had.
Upgrade is like an Ayn Rand convention, where everyone thinks they’re much more clever than they really are. On an almost scene by scene basis this movie undercuts its own logic in a rush to get to its big, dumb-ass obvious climax.
What was it that guy who used to host America’s Top 40 used to say? “Keep reaching for the stars.” People forget, though, that he also urged caution. I believe the entire message was, “Keep reaching for the stars, but don’t be a fucking moron about it.”
Cody wrote and Reitman directed Juno, Young Adult and now Tully. In every one of them, they substitute a sense of real adulthood with a take that feels like an ambitious high school class kid making a musical version of Dicken’s Bleak House.
