Lady Bird
Lady Bird was fucking delightful. This is a damn good movie. I still don’t get teenaged girls, but the movie is so genuine and so plausible that I may have gained a little understanding of teenaged girls.
Knives Out
I don’t like mysteries unless they feature middle-aged women who also knit and have cats. And the title is a pun.
Isle of Dogs
In light of the sheer volume of dog movies Isle of Dogs is not great, not like Old Yeller or Homeward Bound. It’s not shit either, like the schmaltzy Air Bud movies that just exploit dog lovers. Still, it covers the same ground of good companions who would do anything for their masters.
The Incredibles 2
The great news is that Incredibles 2 mostly looks great. The animation is top notch and the action sequences are more imaginative, crisp, and followable than the cluttered, noisy crap in the live action movies.
Good Time
Good Time is decent. It’s smart in moments and dumb overall, but only genius in a vacuum. It will probably find a cult following because it’s grimy, amoral, and has a superficial resemblance to Tarantino-esque violence and crime.
Good Boys
Good Boys has all the qualities of my perfect woman; it’s lazy, fake, cheap and settles for mediocrity. But what makes for a great date with me does not make for a good time at the movies.
Going in Style
There is nothing subtle, nothing smart and nothing genuine about Going in Style. I believe Braff has the unenviable dual talents of being incompetent and underestimating audiences.
Godzilla – King of the Monsters
Godzilla: King of the Monsters is like that Golden Corral buffet: a promise of a limitless cornucopia but all the best stuff is buried way, way in the back, and they expect you to fill up on garbage before you even get to it.
Geostorm
This “climate-change thriller” is as idiotic as the scientific wisdom of someone who buys magically-charged stones from Gwyneth Paltrow and won’t vaccinate her kids.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
One movie into a franchise, and the Guardians are already taking a valedictory lap. It’s a bloated spectacle, a jam band encore where every guy on stage gets to do a solo.