Toy Story 4
There is almost a narrative in Toy Story 4 that no matter how humble your roots are, love can elevate you. Besides the good jokes about a trashy, self-loathing spork, though, love-redeems is sort of obvious.
Tomb Raider
Tomb Raider spends a shitload of screen time having characters tell us that Lara and her dad are both brilliant. It spends no time showing us that they are.
The Mummy
The Mummy is like that sixth trip through the line at the Golden Corral. It’s way too God damn much of a terrible thing. This movie is a relentless barrage of same, grayish-brown slabs of Tom Cruise proving he’s a fucking man, proving he can take a punch or get thrown, dragged or dropped.
The Lovers
The love leaked out like the helium in a week-old party balloon, and now all that is left is a soft, shriveled ball hovering an inch off the floor behind the sofa.
The Circle
The Circle is a great reminder that Hollywood is full of fucking phonies and frauds, pricks so far up their own assholes they think they’re doing us a favor when they point out the obvious.
The Disaster Artist
The Disaster Artist is decent because its subject matter is terrific. I just think it could be more honest with itself. It’s not a celebration of the outsider. It’s a patronizing pat on the back from a shitload of people who have made it to the top the traditional way.
The Big Sick
The Big Sick is a damn fine movie, one with actual laughs, and with the effortless reminder that everyone just wants to be loved, no matter how miserable that will ultimately make them.
Star Wars Part IX: Forced Walking
It ends the Star Wars saga with a dull thud, a sad and easy wrap-up, as though the whole thing had been a sitcom on the CW starring Tony Danza, and this was its last season. I’m glad it’s finally over and people can get the divorce from it they’ve needed for over three decades.
Star Wars Part 8: The Lastest Star Wars Jedi
Star Wars is entirely about a very structured and predetermined destiny, and the gadfly writers and directors Disney hires and fires are forced to try to squeeze a little bit of personality into the cracks in the structure. Nobody in charge of this universe gives a fuck about the characters, just that we get to the next big battle and then promote the next movie.
Stan & Ollie
The movie hardly conveys why Laurel and Hardy were great comics. It doesn’t dwell on the past and only includes Laurel and Hardy movie clips over the end credits. A kid watching this would just think it’s just a couple of old men telling corny jokes and wheezing.