The Incredibles 2
The great news is that Incredibles 2 mostly looks great. The animation is top notch and the action sequences are more imaginative, crisp, and followable than the cluttered, noisy crap in the live action movies.
Category: Movie Reviews
Good Time
Good Time is decent. It’s smart in moments and dumb overall, but only genius in a vacuum. It will probably find a cult following because it’s grimy, amoral, and has a superficial resemblance to Tarantino-esque violence and crime.
Good Boys
Good Boys has all the qualities of my perfect woman; it’s lazy, fake, cheap and settles for mediocrity. But what makes for a great date with me does not make for a good time at the movies.
Going in Style
There is nothing subtle, nothing smart and nothing genuine about Going in Style. I believe Braff has the unenviable dual talents of being incompetent and underestimating audiences.
Godzilla – King of the Monsters
Godzilla: King of the Monsters is like that Golden Corral buffet: a promise of a limitless cornucopia but all the best stuff is buried way, way in the back, and they expect you to fill up on garbage before you even get to it.
Geostorm
This “climate-change thriller” is as idiotic as the scientific wisdom of someone who buys magically-charged stones from Gwyneth Paltrow and won’t vaccinate her kids.
Game Night
There are some bright moments in the movie, many coming from Max and Annie’s next door neighbor, a deeply unsettled and lonely cop (Jesse Plemons) who sure would like to be included in game nights. But the best bits come early, before the story becomes as twisted up as a Doberman’s intestines.
The Emoji Movie
What if, in fact, the people in Hollywood actually love shit like The Emoji Movie. What if all of these executives who have risen to the top of a cutthroat international, multi-billion dollar industry aren’t cold-hearted businessmen, but instead naïve dumbasses more easily entertained than the kid in preschool who puts his hands down his pants and then smells his fingers all day?
Pokémon Detective Pikachu
Detective Pikachu is a mystery, but not really. I mean, not in the sense that anyone put the fucking effort to come up with an engaging or clever puzzle.
The Dark Tower
If you’re thinking about writing a story set in a derelict amusement park: don’t. In fact, one way not to be a shitty hack is to avoid any idea that’s already been done by both R. L. Stine and Scooby Doo. But, if you just can’t resist the allure of the mossy, spooky vacant rollercoaster,…