Oceans 8
Ocean’s 8 is polished and refined, glossy like those two-inch thick fashion magazines full of crap nobody ever wears. That shit is a circle jerk for people who give a rat’s ass what other people’s shoes cost.
Author: Filthy
Mortal Engines
The movie’s basic premise is a giant what the fuck. Maybe it works in a paperback geared toward twelve-year-olds, but it sure as hell fails as a blockbuster.
mid90s
It’s a little ragged and dirty, smells a little sweaty and like cheap pot. It wants to be a Richard Linklater movie, like maybe Slacker or Boyhood, full of little things that sneakily add up to more. The problem is, the tiny moments are just tiny, out of context.
Men in Black: International
Further proof of the lack of imagination at work is that Men in Black: International features not one, but two fights in which the special weapon skitters across the floor and the brawlers scramble for it.
The Lost City of Z
The Lost City of Z is as long and as boring as a holiday meal with old people. Second, it has all the trappings, all the fancy stemware, manners and never-raised voices.
Lords of Chaos
Lords of Chaos is the largely true story of dumb-ass Norwegian metalheads who let their unfocused anger get away from them.
Long Shot
Seth Rogen, the saw, must decide what to do next. He’s sentient, so he knows he can’t cut logs like Superbad 2 or Pineapple Express 2, or Zack and Miri Make a Porno 2. Not yet. Not until he loses his last shred of dignity.
Logan Lucky
If I had a time machine, I wouldn’t go back and try to fix things. I’d just go back and be nicer to the women who blossomed later. That way, today I’d have a lot more old classmates calling me a great guy and not a pervert.
The Lighthouse
It’s not one I’d want to see again because it’s so fucking grim and, ultimately, there’s not enough there to think about later, or enough there to be worth enduring twice. The college kids were nuts for it, though. After all, it’s in black and white so it must be pretty fucking important.
The Lego Movie 2
The best thing about the Lego Movie 2 is that kids aren’t patronized. The theme, even if it treads into the waters of the Toy Story franchise about growing up, is a real issue, particularly for boys who struggle to understand why they don’t like the same things they used to.