There is something exciting about watching an unrestrained movie, one that projectile vomits fresh ideas and jokes onto the big screen. This is especially true when the typical movie experience is becoming increasingly sanitized and safe.
Well, that was unnecessary.
I have this rule about comedies; they should be funny. Snatched isn’t. It starts out with a few jokes, mostly easy, and then it wilts faster than an old man’s dick in the peanut butter.
Rough Night is the exact opposite of visionary art. It’s the poop borne of a commercial ass, of someone whose soul–if they had one–was sold long ago. The script is the film equivalent of a Kentucky Fried Chicken billboard promoting some assortment of greasy foods food for five bucks.
I get the sense the folks who made Ready or Not are with me. Why overcomplicate something when you don’t have to?
Ralph is so of-the-moment that it already feels stale. Its themes are so tacked on that they won’t resonate. Kids won’t come back to this movie when they’re older and see deeper meaning in it. There is none.
As it plods along, it hands out the jolts with the thriftiness of an extreme couponer giving her children allowance. Loud trucks honking horns or cats scowling are supposed to scare us. Creaking floorboards and open doors rattling in the wind are supposed to set the mood.
Peanut Butter Falcon is not like those creepy videos we used to rent. First of all, it wasn’t filmed in someone’s basement. In fact, it looks fucking fantastic, shot along North Carolina’s Outer Banks, all rusted metal, rotted wood and lapping waves.
Ho has made a pretty fucking great reminder of class divisions and of how we let the rich dehumanize us. We marvel when the wealthy rub elbows with us filthy turds. We admire the ones who stick up for our rights. We capitulate to them to make our decisions, and then are thrilled when they actually choose ones that benefit us.
If a monster climbing the side of a mountain while humans think of some way to stop it doesn’t sound very exciting, it’s because it isn’t. It’s fucking lame. And so is Pacific Rim: Uprising.
