Police Suspect Subterfuge Among Youth Cadets
Local News - Newsmakers
Written by Millbank Daily-Weekly   
Saturday, 11 August 2012 17:38

Millbank Police thought they had a foolproof strategy to defuse any youth hooliganism this summer. They deputized four Youth Cadets, all with exemplary academic records, to serve as a link between authority and the city's young people. Police Chief Vern Howard endorsed the Youth Cadet program with the expectation that the city's finest teenagers would provide insight into the activities of the city's wildest and most unpredictable residents.

"We thought these kids would dish inside information." Chief Howard told the Millbank Daily-Weekly. "What with them being teenagers and all. However, we overestimated their patriotism."

Chief Howard made clear that he never expected the Youth Cadets to be "snitches," but that they were encouraged to "tell on the troublemakers" through rewards including free bus passes, chances to have dinner with officers' families and public commendations pointing out who they told on and for what activities.

The police sought information on teen gatherings where officers could round up vandals, curfew-breakers, name-callers and skateboarders, exactly the crimes that have afflicted Millbank this summer and caused many residents to name it "The Summer of Hell."

"Needless to say," admitted Chief Howard, "our program has been less than successful. The blame falls squarely on the shoulders of the Youth Cadets." He reported to the City Council on the situation.

"All four youths are under suspicion for undermining their responsibilities as good citizens ," He said at last week's council meeting while requesting authority for a special investigation. "If these are the best our schools can produce, then I fear for our future." He recommended the Youth Cadets be stripped of their badges and grounded by their parents.

Chief Howard presented several examples of alleged deception by the Youth Cadets. One told police that a band hooligans hung out at the Koffee Klatsch playing something called "pogs" when they were actually urinating on Millbank Middle School. Another reported youths would be summoning demons with a ouija board in the fun but dangerous vacant lot near Ninth Avenue and Main Street. While police waited behind bushes, dispatch received numerous calls of teens drinking beer in the parking lot of the Super Grocery Mart, including one who looked similar to a Cadet. The students also reported the names of frequent troublemakers as Sal Ami, Mike Hunt, Pep R. Oni, Phil Mypockets and Ivana Hump. When officers sought to visit their homes, they found no residents with those names.

Cheif Howard has suspended all Youth Cadets pending the investigation. He emphasized to the City Council that the problem with the Youth Cadet program is not in its execution but in the lack of quality youths to participate. Meanwhile, "The Summer of Hell" has continued, most recently with a rash of tipped-over trash cans and crank calls to Chief Howard's home.

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Last Updated on Saturday, 11 August 2012 19:40

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