Easter Egg Hunt Called Off After Six Days
Local News - Newsmakers
Written by Millbank Daily-Weekly   
Thursday, 31 March 2016 21:24

Kids allowed to return to families, Park reopens to public.

After six days of searching in Ottoman Park, children were sent home from Millbank’s Fraternal Order of Moostarians Easter Egg Hunt with seven eggs still unrecovered. The Moostarians presume the missing eggs were stolen and have enlisted city police to “prosecute the thieves to the fullest extent of the law.”

As memorialized on the cork board in the Moostarian Trailer, the philanthropic organization is dedicated to “Building Character in Today’s Youth.” They are known throughout the community for their programs to toughen kids, such as the children’s intramural basketball league where six through eight-year-olds play against paid college students while fraternal members boo the children. Their annual elementary school spelling bee has not seen a child advance beyond the first round since 1954. The Moostarians also participate in local parades, driving dune buggies and go-karts while pelting children with rocks wrapped in motivational sayings such as, “Get a job, hippie,” and “Second place is first place for losers.”

Moostarian Easter Egg Hunt Called OffThe organization’s Easter Egg hunt has become a Millbank tradition. Each year, the Moostarians invite hundreds of children from Millbank’s most impoverished neighborhoods to Ottoman Park to search for as many as thirty eggs that are not dyed, not hard-boiled and are usually fertilized. It is the only egg hunt in the Tri-city area that has no rules to ensure fairness. The Moostarians pride themselves on hiding the eggs so well that previous hunts have drawn on into evening, sometimes overnight. Children who start the hunt are not allowed to leave until all eggs are found. Children who do not find eggs are shamed and warned they will likely amount to nothing in life.

However, this year the Moostarians outdid themselves for egg hiding, and the fraternal organization reluctantly called off the hunt six days and 23 recovered eggs after it started. An organization spokesman said they reluctantly decided to end the hunt after running out of rations, and when “mollycoddling mommies” asked police for help in bringing the youth home. He said they believed there was still character to build, however, and would have liked to continue.

The spokesman said that the seven missing eggs were probably taken by either the city’s hooligans or hoodlums from Chesterburgh Point. Local residents are not as sure a crime was committed, however, and some worry that the eggs will remain in the park where they will rot and begin to smell, potentially lowering property values, or attracting “the kinds of people who like rotten eggs.”

The Moostarian spokesman dismissed these concerns. “These people around the park could use a little stench in their lives. Besides, our eggs are mostly duck eggs taken from spring nests. In the off chance punks didn’t steal them, they’ll just hatch and become shotgun fodder.”

Still, the organization is convinced a robbery took place. “Return the eggs,” said the Moostarian spokesman, “and there will be no questions asked. You will be arrested, but we won’t ask questions.

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Last Updated on Thursday, 31 March 2016 21:35

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