New Course Offerings Reflect Changing Times at TCCC
Local News - Newsmakers
Written by Helen Hamilton   
Saturday, 19 September 2015 18:59

MILLBANK – Students returned to classes at Tri-City Community College (“Home of the Fighting Geese”) last week amidst traditional sights and sounds: the Falafel Wagon parked outside the student center, the statue of school founder Philip Tri-City, the raucous pep rallies complete with live geese. But there was something missing, and that something is troubling many alumni and local residents.

“If they take away the phrenology major, what will they take away next, the major in eating and breathing?” asked protesting parent Linda Ovine, 59. When informed that there is currently no eating and breathing major, she answered, ‘There you go. Our young people will be completely unprepared for the real world. I can’t think of anything more important than being able to judge the character of other people by measuring their skulls. Except maybe eating and breathing.”

The protests began on the second day of classes, after a local parent examined the class schedule brought home by her daughter, a student at Tri-City Community College. Said local parent Becca Murray, 43, “I feel like Tri-City is focusing less on the courses that made it stand out from all those mediocre schools around the country. Tell me, does Stanford offer alchemy? Does MIT offer a certificate in blacksmithing and ratcatching?”

Philip Tri-City founded Tri-City Community College in 1909, in order to provide “a practical and useful education in technical fields beneficial to life in Millbank”. The most popular major remains the sofa design and craft major, which funnels many graduates into work at Mr. Sofa Guy’s Sofa Kingdom Warehouse Emporium, but majors are also available in criminal justice, accounting and switchboard operating.

School administrator Kyle Seminole, 34, explained, “This year, we added new courses in computer programming, marketing and business administration in order to make sure our students were ready for the 21st century job market. We only have so many faculty, but I am proud to say that our faculty stepped up and got creative in order to increase our course offerings overall.” For example, Associate Professor Zed Swatter now teaches “Principles of Marketing” and “Social Media: Theory, Practice and Evaluation” as well as “Slide Whistle 101” and “Advanced Techniques in Slide Whistle”.

“The protestors should understand that phrenology was the only major we eliminated entirely, and it was not nearly as popular as it was back in 1909,” added Seminole. “These changes will ensure that our “Fighting Geese” are getting the best value from their tuition and emerging as well-rounded and sophisticated citizens of the world.”

Admits local student Sarah Haskell, 20, “I’m actually excited about the new classes, especially now that I know TCCC has no plans to eliminate the major in slide whistle. Golly, I was really worried there for a second!”

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Last Updated on Saturday, 19 September 2015 19:08
 

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