Summer Interns Tote That Barge, Lift That Bale
Local News - Newsmakers
Written by Helen Hamilton   
Monday, 22 April 2013 19:23

MILLBANK - College senior Maddie Roe has been pounding the pavement, searching for her next step into the working world from college.  A prestigious internship seems like the logical next step.  But Ms. Roe, 23, a philosophy student at Tri-City State University,has a decided opinion about this summer's plans.  "Anything but Mr. Sofa Guy," she declares.  "I will clean the haunted molasses factory with my tongue before I will intern at Mr. Sofa Guy's."

"Well, I certainly wouldn't recommend that," replies H. P. Bartlett, Vice President of Marketing and Sales at Mr. Sofa Guy's Sofa Kingdom Warehouse Emporium.  "That sounds a little gritty."  He went on to say, "The good news is that there are plenty of opportunities right here in Millbank that do not involve tongues, molasses or ghosts, or at least not every day."

This is the third year that Mr. Sofa Guy's Sofa Kingdom Warehouse Emporium has offered summer internships to area college students.  These internships are structured so that students can get real-world, hands-on experience in the field of sofa-making.  "These sorts of jobs are the future of our economy.  People are always going to want quality sofas at reasonable prices, no matter what sorts of crazy gadgets scientists invent.  After all, sitting never goes out of style!" remarks Mr. Bartlett.

"The important thing is that these kids are gaining relevant skills that will translate into gainful employment and minimum incarceration," continues Bartlett.  "Their heads are full of all sorts of fluff when they begin, but by the end, their heads are clear and their lungs are full of fluff.  They are focused on what's important to get and hold a job."

"I learned a lot from the experience" admits Nathan Cobblepease, who interned at the factory last summer.  "We spent hours and hours working heavy machinery, building sofa frames, sweeping sawdust, loading trucks.  I still have "Stuffing Cough" even after a year.  I guess I learned that I should have started looking for an internship much, much earlier, instead of spending all my spare time playing Minecraft."  He says that his full-time job at the sludge recycling plant is much more pleasant.

University students with an interest in carpentry, upholstery or related fields should contact Mr. Bartlett before May 15, 2013.  Before being accepted, interns will be expected to pass a physical exam, mental acuity test, background check, cultural alignment inspection, and the hall of one thousand tortures.



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