Senior Center to Host Alternative Talent Show
Local News - Newsmakers
Written by Millbank Daily-Weekly   
Monday, 04 February 2013 18:57

Residents of the Downhill Moderate Senior Living Facility announced that they will host a second round of talent auditions on February 8 for Millbank residents in their recreation room/cafeteria/table storage space. The results of the auditions will be videotaped and submitted to the Explore Channel in order for Millbank to be considered for the new reality show "Town Talent Tonight."

A first round of auditions were held on January 28 at the Celebrity Playho(use) Theater. The results of those auditions have not been released to the public. In their aftermath, the Millbank Daily-Weekly received numerous complaints from individuals who said they were fully-qualified and talented but turned away by the organizer Rev. Bjorn Thorstadt. They included an intentionally unfunny monologuist, a human pea, a walking troupe and an actor performing a monologue from the film "Battleship." In fact, reporters have been unable to find a single person who was allowed to audition, and the Reverend claims the list of performers is confidential.Slide Whistler

The Downhill Moderate Senior Facility manager Irvin Hoyt said the auditions were in response to outrage by facility residents who were refused an audition slot on January 28.

"A few of our people threatened to do unseemly things to Reverend Thorstadt," said Mr. Hoyt. "Decapitation, toilet papering, that sort of thing."

"The man's a glory hog," said resident Tilda Berthen of the Reverend. "We had practiced our synchronized walking for weeks and then he said it was 'too comical.' I wanted to put my comical boot right up his fanny."

The Downhill auditions will be open to everyone, said Hoyt. Young, old, talented and untalented. Unlike the Celebrity Playho(use) auditions, comedy, music and dancing will be welcome. In fact, Downhill residents have requested a late evening session for people who "want to work blue."

When told of the Downhill's audition plans, Reverend Thorstadt said he wished the seniors the best of luck. "Of course, their auditions won't count. Mine are official. Plus, I have all the talent in this town on this cassette." He showed this reporter a VHS tape he was carrying in his pocket.

When asked if it would be shown to the public, Reverend Thorstadt replied that, no, it was intended only for television professionals, "who would appreciate it and make someone special a star."

"Also," added the Reverend, "be assured I will do everything in my power to stop any other tape from ever leaving this city. And anyone on it will not be welcome in my theater. Ever."

Mr. Hoyt said that unlike the Celebrity Playho(use)'s January 28 auditions, absolutely nobody would be turned away from the Downhill. "Except slide whistlers," he added. "Nobody likes them."

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Last Updated on Monday, 04 February 2013 20:11

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