Millbank Firemen Calendars Selling Slowly
Local News - Newsmakers
Written by Millbank Daily-Weekly   
Friday, 04 January 2013 17:37

Millbank's Sexy FirefightersThe Millbank Optarians reported that sales of their racy 2013 "Firemen of Millbank" calendars have fallen short of expectations. The calendar was a departure from their traditional fundraising activity of asking local businesses to donate money in exchange for the club's efforts to protect those businesses. That annual fundraiser was very successful and proved a good value as the city frequently saw unprotected businesses suffer damage.

However, the club decided to change policies this year after meeting with the Chesterburgh Point Italian-American Club. The other club indicated to the Optarians that they would expand their fundraising area, leaving the Optarians to find new revenue sources.

The Millbank firemen were eager to participate in the calendar and volunteered many existing photos of themselves in various states of undress. Their generosity helped defray costs.

The Optarians had a set amount of money they sought to raise and estimated it would take 15,000 calendar sales to reach the goal. They hoped many residents would buy multiple copies for various parts of their homes. However, to date, sales have fallen 14,968 copies short.

The Optarians say the slow sales indicate a lack of patriotism in Millbank.

Local residents who asked to be anonymous have suggested other reasons. First, the provocative nature of the photos made them unsuitable for children, the elderly, conservatives and most men. Second, since Millbank only has three firefighters, each had to be featured for four months, which some people said was too much. Third, the town's firemen aren't considered appealing. One person said they could "collectively afford to lose 250 pounds." Plus, said some residents, their topless photos are already easily found on online dating sites, local telephone poles, the Koffee Klatsch bulletin board and the firehouse garage.

After settling the Summer Picnic Potato Salad Food Poisoning lawsuit in 1984, Millbank's Optimist and Rotarian clubs merged in order to combine their significantly depleted finances. The club warned that the slow calendar sales may force another merger, this time with the Moose Lodge, creating a single fraternal order in Millbank called the Optaroose or Mooptarians.

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Last Updated on Friday, 04 January 2013 21:07
 

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