Police Vow to Break Up Crank Calling Ring
Local News - Newsmakers
Written by Millbank Daily-Weekly   
Friday, 19 October 2012 19:21

Millbank Police Chief Vern Howard said he has heard enough. He declared during a press conference at City Hall this morning that the individuals behind a recent string of "crank" phone calls in the city are now Public Enemy Number One.

"The Millbank Police will dedicate all necessary resources to track down, break up and arrest the organization behind these calls," Chief Howard told a small crowd of citizens and reporters. "Make no mistake, we will still do our other duties, but this has become our top priority."

Chief Howard said that complaints regarding crank calls have risen 42% over the last three months. Several residents have reported being asked if their refrigerators were running and if they had Prince Albert in a can. Other calls have been reportedly just heavy breathing and people squealing like pigs.

The issue came to a head when Chief Howard was awoken from his sleep by a man who said, "We've traced this call, and it's coming from inside your house." Chief Howard said he also received a call during his dinner from a woman claiming to be from a radio station and offering a large grand prize if the Chief could name three cartoon cats. The Chief and the woman argued for fifteen minutes about whether his answer was correct before she promptly hung up. The Chief then discovered the radio station with call letters K R A P does not actually exist. The incident, he said, steeled his resolve to get to the bottom of the issue.

The police believe that the crank calls are coming from a very sophisticated and organized group. As evidence, the Chief cited that many different voices are being used, including men, women, men who sound like women and women who sound like men. Currently, police do not suspect the town's teenaged hoodlums because many of the calls are being made after curfew.

The Millbank Police encourage any citizens with information to report it. They also want to thank the following residents who have called the station with potential leads: Pete Za, Mike Hunt, Ivana Hump, I. P. Freely and Donald Duck.

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Last Updated on Saturday, 20 October 2012 12:24
 

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