Millbank Seniors Serious About Their Prom
Education - Education
Written by Howard Dale Jr.   
Saturday, 24 May 2014 18:45

MILLBANK - It’s a night to remember, an event that some people dream about their whole lives, hoping to make it utterly perfect. Unfortunately, in Millbank senior prom season is more often than not synonymous with disaster. Older residents might remember the Great Sparrow Invasion of 1923 or when the high school flooded in 1967. Senior Prom 2014 could have ranked up there with these events, but due to some creative problem-solving, no one came home mauled or traumatized.

Irvin Hoyt, manager of the local Downhill Moderate Senior Living facility explained the situation, “Several months ago, I had reserved the Millbank High School gymnasium for our “senior prom”, an opportunity for the folks to get out of the building, gussy up and dance to their favorite oldies but goodies. We used to always use the common room at the First Millbank Church of God, but my residents were telling me that it was hard to have a good time with the crucified Jesus looking down on them.”

“Millbank High always schedules our senior prom for the fourth Saturday in May – it’s a tradition to finish up the school year on a high note,” remarks Brittany Howard, co-chair of the 2014 Millbank High School Senior Prom Planning Committee (2014 MHSSPPC). “I can’t imagine why the school secretary thought that the gym would be free tonight.”

School secretary Minnie Powell offered this explanation. “Everyone was talking about ‘senior prom this’ and ‘senior prom that’. There was no indication that these were two different events for two different groups. Heck, they even had the same theme, “Magic Under the Stars.”

The resulting fete was twice as crowded as in past years, with elders mixed in with teenagers. Both groups had complaints. “It’s hard to dance a good fox trot, when you have all these pimply whippersnappers crowding the floor doing their Satan-jive all around you,” complained Tilda Berthen.

“Eww. It really smelled like old people in the gym,” observed Stephen “Mad Dog” Madsen, a senior at Millbank High School. “Ben-Gay, coffee and colostomy bags.”

After about forty-five minutes, the management of Downhill Moderate Senior Living and the MHSSPPC conferred and found a solution to make both groups happy. “We alternated blocks of songs – that old stuff and then our music. We figured, while the senior citizens were on the floor, that would give us a chance to find a dark classroom and make out for a little while. Plus, after about eight o’clock, we had the whole place to ourselves, because the old people just wanted to get to bed.”

This is not to say that the party was completely segregated. “They set up a chocolate fountain, and that was pretty popular with everyone,” said Marie Fenword, 84. “Who is going to say no to chocolate? Although, my doctor says I should cut back because of my diabetes.”

Another thing the two groups had in common was a sense of an uncertain future. “I was talking to Seymour here,” said Dakota Mills, 17. “And he said that he might never see these folks again. I can totally relate, because after graduation, we’re all going to go away to college or get jobs. We’ll be pursuing our lives wherever the wind may take us.”

Seymour Greenwood, 97, added, “Actually, it is a little different. I’m talking about our imminent deaths.”

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