Taking A Seat For Freedom
Editorial - Editorial
Written by Mr. H.P. Bartlett   
Saturday, 14 July 2012 16:25

I hear plenty of my neighbors complain about the way that the world is going down the crapper.  People worry about rabid squirrels, high unemployment, global warming and a bunch of other stuff.  Sometimes, I get the feeling that people would rather complain than actually do something about these issues.  That’s a real shame, because there’s something that each of us can do to make the world a better place.

Now this one thing isn’t difficult.  It doesn’t require a great deal of brains or strength.  It requires making a choice.  Some people say you have to take a stand to effect change.  I say you have to take a seat.

If you buy a sofa at your local furniture purveyor, you are assuring jobs for your neighbors.  Your neighbors are the ones who built the sofa and who staff the store that sold it, too.  When relatives and acquaintances from out of town come to visit, your sofa will act as a beacon of prosperity and justice, spreading the message that Millbank looks after its own and yet allows for dozens of upholstery choices.

Your sofa acts as a savings plan, capturing spare change that might otherwise be lost forever.  Its stuffing materials contribute to our green efforts, recycling and re-using valuable resources, such as grocery bags and old paperback novels.  Your sofa comforts the weary and allows families to strengthen their bonds.  It promotes the civil exchange of ideas.  Beneath those plush cushions beats a pure and brave heart that will lead us to a better way of life.

Sofas from other cities cannot make the world a better place, however.  Foreign sofas only bring despair from their shoddy construction and ideological differences.  Their colors are slightly brassy, their stuffing has that bizarre musky fragrance associated with sickly livestock.

So, you can write your congressperson or march in some sort of demonstration without a new sofa, and see all your efforts come to naught, or you can choose from 57 new styles and “take a seat” to create a brighter future for all of Millbank and the U.S. of A.

Mr. H.P. Bartlett is currently the Vice President of Sales and Marketing at Mr. Sofa Guy’s Sofa Kingdom Warehouse Emporium.

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