Letters to the Editor
Editorial - Editorial
Written by Millbank Daily-Weekly   
Saturday, 23 April 2016 05:10

Dear Millbank Daily-Weekly,

It was with much concern that I read the April 16th article about the Millbank master plan. How short-sighted is our city council to work with a consultant (Civic Excellence Consultants) who is not only a foreigner from Clean Springs but also has some sort of misguided animosity towards ducks.

Mr. Kliphoffer’s vitriolic rant shows a lack of professionalism, but worse than that it shows ignorance. Ducks are wonderful birds and an important part of Millbank’s past and present. I would like to see Mr. Kliphoffer float or gobble down oyster crackers with the same panache.

I recommend that the Millbank City Council replace Kliphoffer and his big-city ilk with someone who truly treasures nature and understands our town and its need for expanded duck habitat.


Duck Defender

Dear Editor,

Re: “Millbank’s Future May Include Pickleball Headquarters, Ducks”, I thought this was really dumb. The article was very short-sighted in interviewing only one type, and that’s the fancy-pants culture-vulture contingent. Those highbrows do not truly represent Millbank’s interests. Ask anyone what it means to be a Millbankian, and they will tell you that our town is defined by pickleball. Therefore, it should be a no-brainer to build a state-of-the-art pickleball facility on the Fun But Dangerous Vacant Lot.

Pickleball is a healthy, social activity that can be enjoyed by residents of all ages and body types. It is not an exclusive and snobbish affair like what Mr. Alvarado is trying to sell. Pickleball is for all of Millbank, and all of Millbank is for pickleball.


Pickleball Forever

Dear Editor,

Mr. Alvarado should be ashamed of himself. Ducks are not supporters of the arts? Hogwash! They love it when I sing and dance for them.

Eloise Van Vlinden, Millbank

Dear Millbank Daily-Weekly,

The residents have spoken, and the future of Millbank is clear. More butterscotch pudding for all!


Jonathan Groot, Millbank

Dear Editors,

I don’t know who these people are. What sort of town is this, promoting duck feeding and paddle games over important things like education and affordability? If someone would unlock the root cellar door, I could escape to somewhere sane like Riverside.


Future Riverside Resident


Dear Millbank Daily-Weekly,

There is one contingent who is not currently being considered either by the Civic Excellence Consultants or the rest of the Millbank populace. These are the voiceless ones, so easily overlooked and ignored. These, my friends, are the hooligans.

Did you know that hooligans make up almost 7% of the Millbank population, yet they cannot vote, run for office, own a business or even drive? Many of these young people struggle with dressing themselves in the morning or stringing more than two words together in a coherent statement. This is something my organization, the Hooligan Advocacy Network, tries to remedy, but the cards are stacked against us. Must hooligans now be deprived of the only place they can call their own? No one has tried to claim the Fun But Dangerous Vacant Lot before this master planning effort. It was fun. It was dangerous. It was also unwanted and ignored.

Surely, Millbank can grow and have a brighter future, without depriving our young people of a place where they can make poor decisions. These poor decisions, whether it’s setting their own hair on fire or throwing dead fish at passersby, are the seeds that will make Millbank bloom into a unique and vibrant place. Before you know it, these young people will be opening up kombucha joints and maker spaces. Today’s hooligans are tomorrow’s engines of commerce.

Best wishes,

Clarence T. Whipoorwill, Executive Director, Hooligan Advocacy Network (HAN)

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