License Your Pet!
Editorial - Editorial
Written by Wilhelmina Garrett   
Saturday, 20 June 2015 06:00

It’s summer vacation time, and believe me, humans aren’t the only ones letting loose and going wild. Our fur babies are entitled to a bit of a break after long hours of chasing balls, begging for table scraps and finding novel places to defecate. It’s hard work being a kitty or a doggie, and we, the fur parents, must give them a bit of a respite, the animal equivalent of a shady hammock with cocktail in hand.

This is why it is especially important to make sure that Snowball and Rex are licensed by the civic authorities. If a mangy stray cat yowls all night, rampages through people’s garbage and kills dozens of songbirds in a single evening, it is an animal management issue, but if Princess Purr does the same thing, well, I can just show the uniformed officer her license and it’s no big deal. Just a fun night on the town, feline-style. If Mr. Tum-Tum shows up on the wrong side of the tracks, drinking liquor with the hobos, he will get returned to me. If Lovelumps catches bubonic plague, he is not whisked away to some quarantine hospital. He is still “legitimate” under civic statutes and can stay with me. I take him back home, settle him on my pillow and that’s that. It’s like the pet license is a combined pet identification and get-out-of-the-pound-free card!

All of these are based on true experiences, so I know of what I write. My kitties know how to live it up! And I live vicariously through them.

It’s not hard to get a license, although like anything having to do with Millbank bureaucracy, it takes some preparation. Just go down to city hall with $15 and your pet’s vaccination records. You will have to fill out a form that includes your name and address and a description of your pet. That’s it! I can’t tell you how relieved I was that I didn’t have to admit to all the silly naughtiness that my fur children had gotten up to over the years, not even the jewel heist back in ‘97. The city doesn’t keep a record of that kind of stuff, although I have made some hilarious scrapbooks.

So, all in all, pet licensing is easy and offers many benefits. Just think, if we all made sure our pets were licensed, Millbank could be a pet haven, with dogs, cats, bunnies, parrots, horses, iguanas all running free through the streets. Everywhere you look, animals taking charge! Isn’t that what we all want?

Note: Ms. Garrett is correct in advocating for widespread pet licensing. However, Millbank’s Department of Pets, Wildlife and Performing Animals wants to emphasize that licensing does not protect your animal if it breaks the law or makes poor decisions, nor will it lead to a animal-led government.

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