Technology is Hip! And So Am I!
Editorial - Editorial
Written by Seymour Greenberries   
Saturday, 04 April 2015 07:41

MILLBANK – Times have sure changed. Back when I was a lad, you had to shout into the telephone so that the person on the other end could hear you. You just shouted and shouted and hoped someone would hear you across the barren, dusty plains, because our telephone was really just an old cowbell connected to the barbed wire fence. I remember my lungs were raw from yelling the day Pa got all caught up in the hay baler.

Now if you shout into the telephone, the nurses up your dose. Things are much quieter these days.

I finally put my profile up on Facebook, but all the with-it gals around the senior center, like Tilda Berthen and Marie Fenword are switching to Snapchat. It can be hard to keep up with the pace of technology, but all this posting and sharing and liking keep me young at heart. Sometimes, I “like” things on Facebook, not because I really like them, but just because if I don’t, I’m afraid people will think I’m a grouchy old man. They’d say, “That Seymour, he’s against my grandchildren! He doesn’t like them!” Even though I don’t even know their grandchildren, I don’t want to come off as anti-grandchildren, so I put up my little blue thumb at them. See? I’m okay! I have a little blue thumb for little Jayden!

Just because we’re old, doesn’t mean we don’t care about technology. It took us months to get wi-fi at Downhill Moderate Senior Living, because that whippersnapper Irvin kept saying that it would just get us into trouble, and didn’t we think we think cable tv with over 200 channels was enough? Plus, the mailbox right in the dining room? We had to take a stand and blast Fox News as loud as we could in the tv lounge until the staff agreed to listen to us. Plus, we explained that we could promote our World Famous Butterscotch Pudding even better using social media. That seemed to convince them.

Now we can tell the world all about our gall bladder surgery or photos of ducklings or funny sayings about how we can’t remember things. Plus, all the jokes about losing our memory! The downside, of course, is now when Burt Vorchek drives the golf cart right into the privet hedge, his reputation will be shot forever. It’s a price I’m willing to pay, though, if it means someone will still like me with their little blue thumbs.

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