Millbank Metro Business of the Month - Smelly Derry’s Artisan Cheese Shop
Local Business - Announcements
Written by Millbank Daily-Weekly   
Friday, 31 January 2014 19:40

MILLBANK – “Before I opened my cheese shop in Millbank, the only types of cheese available were government and head,” claims local cheeseman Sam “Smelly” Derry. Last month, Mr. Derry opened a small shop in downtown Millbank devoted to all things cheese. Many of these cheeses are made by Mr. Derry himself.

“Goat cheese is really big right now, and we offer quite a few varieties of chevre, such as Stout Goat Cheese, Goat Cheese with Mango and Chevreeta (a goat cheese version of Velveeta). That last one is awesome on ‘hipster nachos’, which have goat cheese, sriracha and preserved lemons on them.” Mr. Derry reports that his large goat cheese inventory is due to the large population of feral goats that has roamed Millbank since the late 1990s.

“But cow milk and goat milk are really just the tip of the iceberg,” says Mr. Derry. “Lately, I’ve been experimenting with some other kinds of milk: elk milk, cat milk even muskrat milk. These are all mammals, you know, and why shouldn’t their milk be just as good as the old standbys? I make a Muskrat Mozzarella that is just to die for on pizza.” Mr. Derry would not comment on whether he would expand his sourcing of milk to some of the animals housed in the Global International facility. "Let's just say I'm not a speciesist where cheese is concerned."

Mr. Derry plans to feature some of his cheeses at the upcoming Millbank Local Artisan Fair on February 12th at the First Millbank Church of God. He will offer some free samples, but be sure to bring your own crackers. “We’re really at the forefront of a food revolution here in Millbank, and it’s about time we rose above eating all that processed garbage like butterscotch pudding,” he says. “I’ll be easy to find. Just look for me between the homemade mustard guy and the pesto lady.”

Smelly Derry’s Artisan Cheeses is located at 850 Davenport Street, just north of the newsboy cap factory and the dried flower stand. Hours are 11 pm – 2 am, when only the young and relevant are awake.

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